THE FUTURE!!

I'm starting to feel like the things that we want most in life and where we want to go and what we want to make of ourselves isn't based on our experiences, dreams, or any of the other stuff that I've believed it to be for almost my whole life now. It seems like it's instead based on context or what's happening in life right now.... Like, when I finished 'Track and Failed' and everyone was nice enough to want to compliment it, I wanted nothing more than to go from there and continue my studies of animation and get started right away on a new short film and start working my way up and begin a life of storytelling, always making people feel better through the stories that I give them.

Then I had this past weekend fall on me in which I had to say goodbye to all of the friends from Japan with whom I've worked so hard to build and maintain deep and meaningful friendships with since the beginning of the year. And crap, bidding them farewell is not easy. It also rocketed my mind into thinking that what I really want to focus on is my study of Japanese. I was reminded again of all the fantastic feelings I got when I was in the country, speaking the language, and generally adding to a society and culture which was very much not my own. I totally wanted to feel that again. On top of that I also went through the graduation ceremony this weekend and got all kinds of encouragement from my family. So now my mind is a big mish-mushed tornado of what's important to me, what I want to pursue, and what I want out of life. I think in the coming days I'd like to post a bit of information as to why both animation/storytelling and the study of Japanese are so important to me. Maybe it will also help me sort out which one I want to focus on.

But yeah the context thing. So when i got back from Hokkaido I wanted nothing more than to continue studying Japanese and make my abilities awesome. I wanted to strive for fluency and focus almost all my energy into studying the language so I could improve greatly by the end of the year, and then maybe get some kind of opportunity to go back to the country. Then I started work on my short. The entire year has been me flip flopping between animation and Japanese and here I am at the end. And as of right now, they are in a dead tie.

Either way, I need to get this all figured out because I'm getting sick of posting things on this blog that aren't very funny or interesting. I don't think that's who I am...at least it's not who I want to become.