いつも頑張ってる僕

I have a hard trouble understanding sometimes. As much as I love learning Japanese, and as happy as all the friends I've made in Japan makes me, and how much I love speaking the language, I just can't understand why I can't force myself to speak it anymore. Maybe it's shame that I feel my abilities have decreased since coming back from Hokkaido. But I think they've actually gotten better. It's irritating at times, since so often I just want to speak Japanese, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

It would help to go back again. I love being in situations where I don't have a choice and have to do my best in. I always do top performance at those times.